Mind over Body and Changing the Course

Unfortunately, living in today’s world can be frustrating and especially to many of us who know the ultimate truth. But then there are equally positive stories around us that render a hope, that you cannot just defy. We then continue to live life looking for the happiness, a tranquillity of mind, a true friendship and an opportunity to give. We somehow find a good reason to live.

I am now 69 years old. Some say Dr Modak, time to hang up your shoes now. Why don’t you chill and relax; Stop the work you currently do and do something else. But many also say that I should not stop. I should continue the work I currently do and keep expanding the work for greater impact.

My late uncle N V Modak started construction of the Vaitarana Dam (now known as Modak Sagar) to meet the requirement of water supply to the city of Mumbai in 1956. He was then 66 years old. He used to leave for the construction site early morning at 3 30 am every day and reach the dam site by 5 30 am to oversee the construction. Such an energy and dedication at that age! Astounding isn’t it.

I have great examples in my own family where age is just a number. But then it is hard to answer whether I should stop, change the course or just continue. I decided to take help of my Professor Friend. Indeed, I hated the option to stop.

Professor smiled and said

“Dr Modak, you are forgetting the reality. While your mind may be strong,  your body isn’t. Over the years in the zest of work, you have simply neglected the basics to keep up your body machine. It will be very hard for you to carry on the stuff you currently do. Changing the course will be the right option for you at this age and condition of your body.

But remember that mind should always rule over the body. “

I remembered that in 2014 around I suffered from dengue in my kidneys and the creatinine shot up to 14 (yes fourteen) when the normal range is between 0.7 to 1.4. I was admitted to Hinduja Hospital in Mumbai. I remember when the rise of creatinine was unabated, I was put on dialysis 4 times to reduce the toxicity. The cycle of 4 hours of deep dialysis made me rethink about life. A biopsy of the kidneys was seriously considered. Surprisingly, I was doing clinically good, walking around, discussing with doctors and with my nephrologist Dr Almeda, topic of biostatistics. I was helping doctors on how to statistically interpret data spewed by the dialysis machine!

By God’s grace I survived whilst most had given up hope that I will live. Dr Almeda later told me that the death was certain except in how many days was the mute question. I remember when one of the junior doctors had asked me about how I feel, and I had answered “ Doc, this is surely not the time for me to die, I have reasons to live”. Dr Almeda felt that my mind was decoding signals to my kidneys, and it was a case of mind controlling the body.  Unfortunately, I have not yet found the real good reason to live.

Fortunately, today my mind is still strong  enough to fight, and I know if I ever give up or feel scared of my age and body then sure, my body is going to melt and simply shut down. Fear to death is not easy to conquer and I know its not easy to reach that state of mind.

Last week, I had gone to see a dear friend of mine in the Hospital.  Seven years ago, he was put 2 stents in his heart. Few months back, he had an excruciating chest pain and he was moved to the hospital. Seven more stents were added to his already wounded heart. When I saw him in the hospital, he said that the doctors now feel that 3 more stents are required to save his life, giving him an honour of a 12 star  heart that was to beat in the company of a pacemaker.

He was reading a book when I entered a room. My son was with me. He hugged him and gave advice for life. I have heard him before several times but on that day, I witnessed his amazing insight to life, and with all the calmness that my son will never ever forget. I envied that giant mind and sheer confidence in facing the situation that very few can face. He told me that once he is alright, he will develop projects that will do social good and set models of development for India’s rural economy. He was certainly dreaming (that was perhaps the best he could do) but his mind was certainly ruling over his body.  He was looking for changing the course when in reality all roads ahead were blocked for him.

I feel the best place to decide the way ahead is to sit under an old banian tree  with no one around, with only a light breeze and  a light of transition. In this light it may be difficult to know whether it is a state of a sunrise or a sunset. You will then need to take a deep breath to know what that transition light is trying to tell you – a sunrise or a sunset in your life. As you will keep deep breathing, you will perhaps not sense existence of your body but only of your mind that will be supreme. You will then decide whether to continue the way you currently live or change the course.

I just did that.

I told my Professor Friend that I will continue my life with what I currently do but become more selective. Sure there will be no stopping till I can and I will do my best to keep my mind over the body.

Professor smiled and said, “Why don’t you simply say that you want to change the course to find good reasons to live?”

Now this was my turn to smile.

Dear Friends do read my blog on changing the course

You will simply love this post and perhaps change the course of your life!